Hey guys, just popping by and saying thanks for all the birthday wishes! Boy, do I feel oooooold. I'm legal now! I'm an ADULT! It all felt like it went by so quickly, but I'm honestly happy to leave behind my childhood and grow up.

College starts in 3 months, holy shit. School here hasn't ended yet though... Still have less than a month to go, though. (We don't even do work in class anymore LMFAO, I have no idea why we're still here xD)

Gonna go into a life rant now, feel free to ignore.

Lately I've been feeling.. very disenchanted. I dunno, I think it started after I visited Ringling for Accepted Student Day and I met so many people who instantly understood me better than the friends I have here. I mean, I just felt so... in place. I'm really glad to be going to art school. But ever since then, I find it really hard to tolerate people at my school, even some of my friends. I've been spending a lot of time to myself, just occasionally talking to a few buddies but otherwise I've completely separated myself from the "friend group" people assocaited me with because I realized that I was honestly never friends with them because I really liked them, but because we had all our classes together. :[ I still keep in touch with most them though, just individually.

In general I've been feeling kind of... disappointed with people. I don't know how to explain it. I feel like I woke up from a dream and everything seems kind of wrong. I thought I hated people in my school but I realized the vast majority of (read: majority, NOT ALL) high schoolers and even some college students have this kind of immaturity to them and I can't be around it. It just makes me cringe. Then I realize in general I'm just unhappy with our culture and this sort of mainstream way of life (I know, I sound like a hipster, but don't any of y'all fucking dare claim that you've never said to yourself, "People these days... [etc. etc. etc.]" or "Wow, happened to us?").

Maybe this also had to do with the fact that I've come to terms with the fact that I'm an introvert and stopped putting myself in super social situations to "fit in better". Done with that. Spent middle school and most of high school feeling miserable because I always felt like a social failure and trying to fix myself when there was nothing wrong with me in the first place. So that's led me to think a little more deeply now that I can actually spend time alone thinking and reading rather than spending my time derping with people and talking about food. And as a result I've become slightly cynical too, but I promise as a whole I still see the human race in a more positive light. I'm just unhappy with the culture.

Uhh yeah. Maybe a lot of you guys can't relate to me on this, maybe a lot of you can. So far the only people who can really understand my feelings of detachment and loss of interest in my friends are my parents and other adults, because they've gone through the same thing. Other people my age just think of me as some horrible person for "abandoning" my friends. Not that they needed me in the first place. And besides, they never took me seriously as an artist, either.... Sorry, that's a rant for another time.

That's kind of it, sorry if you had to read that! I just feel very conflicted, but I think a lot of people go through that when they go through that "coming of age" phase.

Once again, THANKS for the birthday wishes! I promise I'll get to replying to them in a bit...